Working on Destiny

I am working on a book.
It will be a book on sound.
Here are five fragments
that I have written,
but will not use.

1. It is all abracadabras to you, isn’t it? You haven’t got the slightest idea of what this thing internet is. You do know about aura, the force – The Force! – that surrounds all people. The Dalai Lama is capable of caressing your aura. Internet is a people’s aura, also referred to as a cloud. You are not listening, are you? You should. You remember our friend the sculptor, when he came back from his visit to New York? He had observed T-shirts on people. He had observed that a lot of people wore T-shirts. There were opinions or slogans pressed on them. Our friend the sculptor thought that New York was very loud. Everyone walked around with a statement. He got the idea that any kind of dialogue was impossible. It was all one-way. Our friend the sculptor was glad to be back.

2. Everyone wants to be special. Everybody wants to be wanted. Everybody wants to be loved. That is the omega-part of our existence, the part where all movements end. In a commercial sense you can call it consumerism. In an archaic sense you can call it gathering. In a moral sense you can call it peace. In a physical sense you can call it wellness. Wellness is marketable. It is also the state of being when after long office hours the computer gets unplugged and time to relax has arrived: a massage with ethereal oils that makes you dream away to Elysian Fields. That is the real freedom. This internet-aura is a harness; it defines the alpha part of our existence: you go out to fight. You go out to fight for your existence. It is all about authority, on being the departure point of actions, about being a part of a slowly progressing civilisation, about being important, about being needed, about being special. And for being so special you deserve a reward, a bonus.

3. His stomach was filled with wobbly eggs. It was a kind of voice that some people use as a starting point to imitate a howling dog. It was also an evangelical voice, the one that would re-sound solemnly in a church or in a hall of great historic importance. The appearances and the speeches of a president are history in the making. Wulff made the impression that he was very well aware of the fact that he should have this appearance. He also made the impression that he did all he could, so that he would make this impression. But there was something wrong with his voice. I hated it from the beginning. I had a big dislike for Jeltsin as well right from the beginning. Both Wulff and Jeltsin reminded me of spoiled children who start to whine and cry when they have done something wrong, then, with trembling under lip and still tears in their eyes ask for forgiveness. They know that this form of humility masquerades and at the same time defines the space where their true actions take place.

4. I travel quite often by train. It is a fast and expensive, but comfortable train. In the language of Deutsche Bahn I am a client. With every ticket I purchase, I collect bonus points. In some coaches you can pick up a magazine, the bahnbonus magazine. It has more than one hundred pages. Every page shows at least three items that you can choose from. The more points you collect the more special the bonus is. A voucher for a breakfast, a luxury suitcase, a holiday under the sun for 500, 12.000 or 30.000 points; you know that every point is a result of one euro spend on tickets.

5. With just a bit of money on hand, the kind of middle-class wages money, it would have been possible to transcend the feeling of wealth: 14.000 bonus points, clean shaven, dressed as a manager, sky-blue shirt, my jacket loosely over my brand-new luggage trolley, I arrive in the lounge of my office building. It has big clean windows, and it shines its transparent shine on a skyline where everything else is transparent as well. I don’t have to care about money, because my money has started to care about me. My life is as clean and weightless as a brochure. In fact I wouldn’t mind if this one moment could last forever. But it doesn’t.


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